Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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