I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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