Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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