I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
