Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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