Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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