what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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