somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
