So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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