so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
