There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
