dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
