what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
