every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dick very happy bro
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
