yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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