so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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