Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
