Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
