why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The feeling are messing with the penis
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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