I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
