i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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