When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
