we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
