i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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