i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
