Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
