I'm going to jail i love you
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Still dying that you shit outside
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
