11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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