Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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