tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm really busy with my period
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