his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
