I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
