i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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