i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
