6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
