Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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