I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
being pregnant is like rehab
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
