Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
