im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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