if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize