just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
