ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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