they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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