She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
