Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
