Can i not drive my cunt home
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Boobs are out for the taking
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize