i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
