playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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