It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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