He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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