Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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