Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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