her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
