i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
