and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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