God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize