I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
