We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
