remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
