ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
