You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
